I recently had an interesting conversation with a young lady who felt that her life was totally out of control. This was steaming from the fact that what she wanted to do seem to constantly elude her. In our conversation one of the key things that came out strongly was the need to change her self- talk.‘Self-talk are the words that you use to describe what is happening to you and to discuss how you feel about external events ‘; according to Yvonne F Brown. Self-talk is the programming that shapes our self-image and our self-image determines how far we go or accomplish in life. What we say to others is not nearly as important as what we say to ourselves. Our minds are flooded with thoughts that direct us to lead the lives that we live. By controlling your self-talk, you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life.
Research has shown that we talk to ourselves at the rate of 150 – 300 words per minute or nearly 50,000 thoughts per day. Self-talk occurs through the conscious area of our mind and becomes instructions to our sub conscious. The most powerful influence on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself and believe it. The outcomes of our daily lives are influenced by our self-talk.
When you think about it; we don’t get what we want in life but rather what we expect. What we tell ourselves determines our success or failure. It is not what happens to you but how you respond internally to what happens to you that determines your thoughts, feelings and ultimately your actions.
Our self-concept is created by our own self-talk and it is our self-concept that determines our level of performance in any area of our lives. We have hundreds of individual self-concepts; our subconscious then works hard to ensure our performance is consistent with our self-concept. Self-concepts are not formed by the words we hear from others but how we interpret those words with our own self-talk.
My friend like many of us was her own worst enemy; she was beating herself down with her own internal dialogues. The first step in controlling self-talk is to become aware of it. By changing and controlling your self-talk, you can learn to create comfort zones and self-images that work for you. The starting point in the process of becoming a highly effective person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day.
Self-talk, self-esteem and self-confidence are interlinked in such a way as to produce the results you achieve in life. Keep your thoughts and your words positive and consistent with you goals.
